Songwriting

In the aftermath of a relationship break-up last year, I moved into a kind friend's attic to recover. He had a piano and so began my new interest in songwriting.

I sat at that piano day in, day out, pouring my heart out on to the keys and soothing my broken heart and my frantic mind by putting it all into words and melodies.

I am still amazed at how much this helped me at the time and how much it has stayed with me now that I'm not feeling so teenage angsty.

I am also lucky enough to have the most wonderful group of friends known to man, who would come round to the house to eat, drink, and make up a daft song in a night. My personal fabvourite so far being the classic, 'Friends of Tickle Perkins'. 

At these delightfully silly nights, devoid of any ego, I tried playing the accordion (upside down), the saxophone, whistles, flutes and all kinds of jingly-jangly, shaky things. Most of all though, I have loved the singing. Singing with other people is one of the most joyous things a person can do. Finding harmonies that push against someone else's voice, making them both stronger and more beautiful, gives me tummy-jumps and now I'm not sure why everyone isn't doing it. I'm a fully-fledged musical evangelist. 

In the last few months I've made the leap into writing my own happy songs, songs of love and friendship and optimism about the future. It feels like I've opened a door in an old house that I've always walked past, never knowing what was inside. Now I've opened it, I realise it's the best room in the house and I can't believe I waited this long to check it out. 

There is still a slight problem in that I can't play an instrument well enough to accompany myself so my patient and talented friends are frequently roped in to be my musical-slaves while I say things like "no, not like that, more......(insert indiscernable noise and confusing hand gesture)...like that." I know what I want, I just don't know how to say it in words so they struggle on until I say "Yes!!!! Like that!!"

I write songs in my head while I'm jogging, sitting on the tube, cycling to Clapham Common and lazing in the bath.  I hope the door to my favourite room stays open now so I can continue to play in there forever more.

Has songwriting changed my life?
Yes! It really has. I actually feel like I am compositionally different, like I have a new constiutent part to my person and everything has shifted to accommodate it. It has enriched my life, been my therapy (for free) and an expression of joy and the joy itself.

Rating: 10/10
Comments: All the things I try in my life to be more like the person I want to be have never come as close to realising that desert mirage as songwriting. It has changed me from the inside out and changed how I think of myself (I'm like way cooler now!)
Development ideas: Onwards and upwards! I met a fellow songwriter on a course recently and we've decided to form a band. We haven't met up yet but the important thing is we've got a great band name - THE REFUSENIKS. Surely we are destined for greatness with a name like that. I can't wait to get stuck in and see where this yellow brick road takes me next.

Lindy Hop

Having had a short break from trying new things while navigating a life-bomb and its aftermath I am now in the 'swing' of lindy hop. 

Lindy hop is a swing dance a bit like jive with a lot of jumping, bouncing, flicking and wiggling. It's a cheeky wink of a dance and I love it!

A packed room above a pub hosts a crowd of eager and clueless strangers who are forced into extreme small-talk for an hour and a half while they try and learn a few cheeky dance steps. The men and women alternate in a large circle around the room and every two minutes the women rotate round the men (harumph). This means you get to dance with different people, some of whom are drowning in panic and their own sweat, while others demonstrate their confidence by leading you like you're a yo-yo on the end of their hand.

It also means that you have two minutes to say hello, make some small-talk, perhaps a joke, perhaps a supportive comment, before you move on to the next. It's quite exhausting, much more so than the actual dancing.

A fellow beginner told me that he was opening with “I'm shit. Just so you know” to every person he danced with. In the end he felt this was setting a negative tone (!) so he changed to a more neutral “how are you?”

I, on the other hand, go on the attack. I bounce in to place and take on the persona of an American motivational fitness guru with phrases like “Let's go!” and “we can do it!” I have no idea why this is my response to social awkwardness. Some people like it and others just look frightened.

I tend to turn up late because the first twenty minutes is so dull. “Step back on your right leg. Now let's do that again.” I think everyone in the room has mastered walking so can we move on? After that, though, I really love it. Especially the wiggling, moves that combine a wiggle with a hip-bump (like you're closing a drawer with your hip) make me very happy.

I love the teacher too, a friendly chap in a flat cap and spatz who makes me blush when he comes to fix my hand-hold (I actually giggled and averted my eyes like I was in a Jane Austen novel). When he wants you to stick your bum out more he refers to it as your 'attitude' which tickles me every time and I'm now thinking of adopting this as a euphemism.

I'm only a couple of months in but I think I can still confidently rate this activity.

Has lindy hop changed my life?

Yes! I think it has. As a new girl in a new town it's been a regular place to go with friendly people doing something I really enjoy. There's a great atmosphere, I always laugh my way through the whole night (though this is largely down to the social awkwardness element) and I get a real kick out of it when we get to dance the step we've learnt at the end of the night. I look forward to my Tuesday night fun-fest and I am not suffering from my usual 7-week itch when the new thing I'm doing starts to get old.

Rating: 8/10

Comments: I'd give it more but I don't want to tempt fate. Something that brings you happiness, fleeting or otherwise should always score big I think.

Development ideas: Next stop – the intermediate class. I went to one the other week and I was dance road-kill. I really enjoyed it though so I'm going to go back and get run over again. There's a ball this weekend where everyone gets dressed up and shakes their tail feathers. I'd love to go but it's a very London £35 so I'm waiting up for the fairy godmother and hoping for the best.