Songwriting

In the aftermath of a relationship break-up last year, I moved into a kind friend's attic to recover. He had a piano and so began my new interest in songwriting.

I sat at that piano day in, day out, pouring my heart out on to the keys and soothing my broken heart and my frantic mind by putting it all into words and melodies.

I am still amazed at how much this helped me at the time and how much it has stayed with me now that I'm not feeling so teenage angsty.

I am also lucky enough to have the most wonderful group of friends known to man, who would come round to the house to eat, drink, and make up a daft song in a night. My personal fabvourite so far being the classic, 'Friends of Tickle Perkins'. 

At these delightfully silly nights, devoid of any ego, I tried playing the accordion (upside down), the saxophone, whistles, flutes and all kinds of jingly-jangly, shaky things. Most of all though, I have loved the singing. Singing with other people is one of the most joyous things a person can do. Finding harmonies that push against someone else's voice, making them both stronger and more beautiful, gives me tummy-jumps and now I'm not sure why everyone isn't doing it. I'm a fully-fledged musical evangelist. 

In the last few months I've made the leap into writing my own happy songs, songs of love and friendship and optimism about the future. It feels like I've opened a door in an old house that I've always walked past, never knowing what was inside. Now I've opened it, I realise it's the best room in the house and I can't believe I waited this long to check it out. 

There is still a slight problem in that I can't play an instrument well enough to accompany myself so my patient and talented friends are frequently roped in to be my musical-slaves while I say things like "no, not like that, more......(insert indiscernable noise and confusing hand gesture)...like that." I know what I want, I just don't know how to say it in words so they struggle on until I say "Yes!!!! Like that!!"

I write songs in my head while I'm jogging, sitting on the tube, cycling to Clapham Common and lazing in the bath.  I hope the door to my favourite room stays open now so I can continue to play in there forever more.

Has songwriting changed my life?
Yes! It really has. I actually feel like I am compositionally different, like I have a new constiutent part to my person and everything has shifted to accommodate it. It has enriched my life, been my therapy (for free) and an expression of joy and the joy itself.

Rating: 10/10
Comments: All the things I try in my life to be more like the person I want to be have never come as close to realising that desert mirage as songwriting. It has changed me from the inside out and changed how I think of myself (I'm like way cooler now!)
Development ideas: Onwards and upwards! I met a fellow songwriter on a course recently and we've decided to form a band. We haven't met up yet but the important thing is we've got a great band name - THE REFUSENIKS. Surely we are destined for greatness with a name like that. I can't wait to get stuck in and see where this yellow brick road takes me next.