There are 2 kinds of dancing: one is an expression of something inside of you and, for most people, something that happens involuntarily when drunk. The other is the kind people teach you in a class. For professional dancers these two become one. They are so proficcient in their art that they can express themselves within the confines of the rules and steps of their dance. For the rest of us, it's one or t'other.
I have always loved my own perculiar brand of dancing. You couldn't teach it, there are no steps, definitely no rules and it's the most fun thing I do and have ever done. (I know what you're thinking, but I put that in a category of it's own for which 'fun' doesn't seem the right adjective). The kind of dancing I've done in classes has been more complicated and over the years has become part of my failed search for fulfillment.... and my failed search for thin-ness - double whammy! I've done ballet, salsa, hip-hop, popping, locking, street, contemporary and, most recently, Jive. I've been competant but not brilliant at any of the above which is the ever-repeating narrative of my pursuit of greatness.
After some months attending a beginners street dance class, I was getting quite confident and a bit bored so I decided to give the intermediate class a go. It was all going quite well until those dreaded words.....'partner work'. These are the words I dread hearing in a dance class. I don't want to dance 'with' (as in actually touching) other people in a dance class but even I didn't realise how bad it could be. It's important when doing a routine with someone else that you are a similar size. So, when I (a five foot and a fag end titch) got paired up with a six foot elephant woman, I was surprised, scared and too emabrrased to say anyhthing to the dance teacher who was giving me a wry smile. He went on to show us a routine which involved rolling over each others backs, swinging our legs round each other's heads, crawling under each other's legs and a fair bit of lifting / throwing. Whichever way round we started, we ended up stuck at some point with me supposed to be lifting her or swinging my leg over her head. This should have made us both laugh. There should have been jokes about mice and mountains but she just looked at me as if to say, "What? Stop wasting time and get your leg over my head you beginner class wannabee!!" She was sighing and tutting with impatience as she percieved my lack of ability to mount her as a sign of my dancing inexperience rather than her mammoth-like physique. It's hard to say "I could do this if you weren't so massive so back off!" That neverending dance class was a socially awkward nightmare with a shared performance at the end as the cherry on the cake.
I never went back to that class and thankfully never saw the elephant woman again. Although I went on to other dance classes after that, it did make me less adventurous in my approach and more likely to stand close to an exit at all times.
Has dancing changed my life?
The expressive dancing that comes from inside will always change my life. It brings alive a part of me which lies dormant in every day life and makes me feel something without thinking it first. Everyone should have something that does that. The dance of the class variety may be a thing of the past for me however, at least for now. I am so sick of the painfully slow step by step approach that takes all the enjoyment out of dancing....and the threat of being paired up with someone twice my size for contact work....shudder.
Rating: 8/10
Comments: Dancing is something I think I am actually good at and I enjoy it. It enrichens my life and makes me feel free from myself in fleeting moments of joy. It gets 2 points deducted because I don't have the discipline to make myself better at dancing so I feel like I haven't fulfilled my potential inviting that school report phrase, "Could have done better."
Development ideas: Go out dancing more and develop my own style to the next level until everyone wants to do it and it becomes the next craze sweeping the nation and then the world......by Tuesday week.
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